found in an old paper back in 2004

the consequences of being psychopathed and disordered is tremendously dangerous for blood hound people if you know what i mean...
cuz the seeds of hate are rising high to that blue sky turning to grey...
and if i wake up would it be morning again???
cuz the sun is red but there aint no light
and all this killing and blood spilling is filling me up
and if i stop hating would i quit to be me???
and the normality that hadnt been there for ages would return to the so called me???
but its better being hated than being messed upon, and its better being an idiot than being with brains...
and now if i throw up, u'll see the real me
and if i spill my guts, i'll b lying to u
and if u try to kill me, i'll b standing here bleeding infront of u
and hating is a good way to express how u feel
but death aint the cure for this
um going crazy but um smiling, looking at tomorrow, happy with wat i've got...
but what can a man do if he was tied up, fucked up, and drawn to the world???